Owning Up to the Truth

Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

TRUTH: I told a lie

It’s true and I’m not proud. I told the nasty self-serving lie to make me seem better or more successful than I actually am. Yup, that one. Like I said, I’m not proud.

The gist is this. I was on a networking call with Extremely Successful Entrepreneur. On this particular day, I was feeling a little down. I hadn’t landed a new client in a while and felt I couldn’t tell the real story. So, I told the one I wanted to believe.

I talked about how I surpassed my first revenue milestone and was well into hitting my second.

UNTRUE.

I said I rewarded myself with some fun shopping and needed to think about how I would treat myself when I hit my next milestone…very soon.

UNTRUE.

I said I was feeling extremely motivated and in total alignment with my personal and professional goals. 

In that moment, UNTRUE.

I was faking it. All of it. And why?

I felt unworthy of this person’s time. As a coach, that’s extremely hard to swallow. But hey, I’m human. I too have an ugly inner judge. I call her the Manipulative Abuser (or, MA!).

When I have the awareness that MA! is lurking, I can tame her quickly. She’s SNEAKY though; her evil hugs can be hard to escape. In that ugly moment with Extremely Successful Entrepreneur, I couldn’t escape. MA! told me I wasn’t good enough to run my own business and that people would only judge my success by a number…nothing else. And then she hugged me tighter as if to say, it’s okay, not everyone can be successful.

LIES! Our inner judge is constantly feeding us lies. Think about how many times a day you feel down on yourself; hearing things like: you aren’t good enough, smart enough, experienced enough, etc. It’s time to turn the light on and expose that nasty character. Because our enemies are instantly weaker the moment we can see them. 

Well MA!, consider yourself EXPOSED. You told me not to write this post…LOOK AT ME! I may not have reached my first milestone yet, but I’m getting closer every single day. I am extremely proud of my progress and find great joy in this entrepreneurial journey. It may not be easy, but I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. And you, MA! cannot stop me.

No more lies. The TRUTH is much sweeter. That shopping spree is coming. Until then, I’ll continue to enjoy the ride.