Push vs. Pull
Photo by Possessed Photography on Unsplash
I attended my first in-person networking event earlier this month. According to every personality assessment I have ever taken, I am an extrovert, so one would assume the idea of being back in the 3-dimensional world would really excite me. It didn’t. In fact, if the entrance and exit had not been the same, I would have walked in and immediately walked out.
This was confusing to me, as I am extremely outgoing, energetic, and never mind being in the spotlight. One would think I would be pulled to an event like this. So where was the push coming from? The anxiety actually started to build the second I signed up for the event. I decided to put my coaching skills to practice and coach myself on where the blocks were.
Is this fear? If so, what am I afraid of?
Hmmmm…I didn’t *think* it was fear, but perhaps it was? I could have been afraid of putting myself out there as a coach for the first time “in-person.” I was also attending the event alone, so perhaps that would cause some anxiety and fear? OK, maybe fear was playing a role.
Is my intuition telling me something? If so, what is it?
I sometimes have a hard time determining if my “gut” is truly my intuition or my excuse to avoid the fear. In this instance, I wanted to believe my gut was telling me not to go, but instead, I decided to see this as an opportunity to “push my comfort zone.”
What values are you honoring?
My 2 core values are Courage and Fun. I definitely knew I was flexing the Courage muscle. The Fun part was yet to be determined; however, social events CAN be fun. So, I concluded both were being honored.
What story am I telling myself?
Going alone to an event like this will make you look like an idiot. You don’t even have business cards (or a fancy personal QR code – which I didn’t even know existed!).
How could I interpret this situation differently?
Perhaps I don’t think about it as a networking event rather just a fun night out. I even threw some red lipstick on to bring this thought to life.
This exercise definitely helped reframe the situation and put me in a more positive mindset heading to the event. Unfortunately, upon arrival, my intuition was definitely spot on. Lesson learned!
It wasn’t a bad experience. It turns out, the push feeling came from me recognizing that I am more introverted than I originally thought. I’ve heard the terms “outgoing introvert” and “closet introvert” and even “reserved extrovert.” Call it what you want, but at times, social gatherings for me are more exhausting than energizing. So instead of pushing myself to attend as many in-person networking events as I can, I’m going to listen to what is pulling me and that’s connecting 1:1 with individuals. I believe those conversations are much more meaningful. So, if you’re reading this and are interested in chatting, let’s grab a coffee – in the flesh or from the comfort of your home computer.
The beauty of this “push vs. pull” analogy is that my desired outcome is still the same. I love meeting and connecting with new people. I just have a preferred way of doing it. And that’s A-OK for me!
What do you feel pushed to do right now? What could you do differently to feel the pull while still getting the results you want?
